Shortcut to Best Seller status?

I read a very interesting and somewhat inspiring article yesterday about being a real writer. What are the qualifications and benchmarks of being a real writer. It was a great piece. It really got me thinking about the credentials used by writers adding to the murkiness of the water. I am pretty sure the term best seller is on the top of my list. Why? Because at my house, my neighbor hood, hell I suppose in my whole city I am the bestselling author. (I don't really care, trust me.) Obviously I don't live in a metropolis nor do I tout the title, it seems pretentious. I remember really looking into what the qualifications of a bestseller are. I never really came up with anything conclusive. The old measure would have been the New York Times but then eBooks came and made that whole thing a little less relevant. And we have Amazon, selling a certain amount of books in any format given a period of time may work as being a best seller. So I suppose if you hit the exact right day at the right time and sold a mess of books, that might be good. I wonder if I take one of the days to give away my books, and a whole mess of people bought my "free" book, then I am a best seller. Holy crap. That doesn't make much sense but I think it may be legit. A fairly well known practice in the music industry is for corporate sponsors of an artist to buy a massive amount of lets say a new release. This creates a buzz and puts the artist on the equivalent of the music bestseller list which in turn sells a ton more music and makes more money for the corporate sponsor. Hmmm. If this would work, I need to have someone buy a boatload of my books and... well I think I will continue to write for pleasure.