Biohazard or Bio Hazard. It's all about ME. Writing a Bio

Today is election day. It has been an entertaining and frightening trip. I will head out to vote, do my civic duty and leave wondering. This is a tough day for me. Why? It has nothing to do with the election it's a coincidence. I am at a beta point with the next Firetok book, Harbinger of Calamity. I have edited the life and or death out of it. My delete key overheated yesterday and I had to force an evacuation of three neighboring houses.

How does this evolve? I didn't know I was ready for some beta input until last night. I thought I might be ready a month ago until I read and re-read which led to a string of editing looking something like re-(infinity)edit. What came with the realization was this, a book cover. No problem.The vision for this cover has been drifting in my analog cyberspace for months. I got some cover concepts back so I can upload the whole deal to CreateSpace for a proof. In a related irony, the clear image for the cover I had is nowhere reflected in the design. Go figure. That which I think I know, I don't. Rinse and repeat.

Next problem? Back cover. Oh shit. Or should I say SHIT? I don't mean a fragrant pile of joy, I mean the awful smelling horror, sick dog, dying raccoon or toddler been eatin' potted meat shit. This is the one with a bio, photo of myself and promotional blobbery. Well, capital shit again. I was having fun up until now. Writing, editing till my eyes bleed and even a cover are all fun and exciting. Writing about myself. Capital shit. Not having fun anymore. I have people in my life who love talking about themselves and if I asked them to do a quick bio they could melt down the ME key the same way I did the delete key. But, glad to say it, that is not me. I'm so great, I did this, look what I can do. Did you see what I can do? Look at all my expenive doodads... It all sounds just like blah, blah, blah and not even in an amusing way like the Count from Sesame Street.

I used my last lifeline to ask someone close to me. Real close, we were in bed at the moment, ok not that close we were laying there talking, but you did give me a great idea. I was like- I have to come up with some positive attributes, will you help me make some up? It was good for a laugh but not far from my reality. My brain doesn't think that way. My comment was "how good do you have to be before someone does this crap for you?" I don't have the answer but I would love to hear it. I wonder again about one of these blowhards I can't stand who go on and on about themselves, I might just copy a couple of their paragraphs and change the wording so instead of I and me the whole way it would be I and me. Might work, if they are talking and bragging and I copy it will it still be plagiarism? One more detail to work out. I did receive a bit of advice which may be helpful, something to the extent of writing in the third person and essentially do it as if I were someone I admire. That is a great idea. I love blowing other people's horn, maybe I can make this work.

So as I head out on this day of challenge to earn my "I voted" sticker, my mind is full of hope and promise the candidates elected will deliver on one millionth of what they promise. Anything over that will be extra. As for me if I can come up with a bio strong enough to encourage someone to read what I have written... that will be a feat worthy of the pain I have endured leading up to this historic election.

By the way all this talk of the bio I figured I might as well include where it is for now. Thanks to a large bit of help and input. As someone famous once said I get by with a little help from my friends. In this case, it made things considerably less painful. What do you think? Writing about myself is tough, anyone else have this same problem?

Gordon A. Wilson is an Army veteran, Michigan native and
driving force behind the popular website.
His debut novel Firetok became an Amazon bestseller,
combining gripping real life tragedy, violence and horror
with inspiration, courage and hope, coupled with
the perfect mix of humor and irony. Generosity of spirit,
love of people, animals and justice oozes through
an unpretentious gift for story telling. He lives with his wife
and two Great Pyrenees who challenge his human condition
daily. His writing is sure to entertain you-

as well as make you think.